Gordon Ramsay Throws Whoopi Goldberg Out of His Restaurant, Bans Her for Life

In a dramatic turn of events that could rival a crossover episode of ‘Kitchen Nightmares’ and ‘The View’, celebrity chef Gordon Ramsay unceremoniously ejected actress and talk-show host Whoopi Goldberg from his latest restaurant venture, Hell’s Pearly Gates. Adding fuel to the culinary fire, he slapped her with a lifetime ban. Let’s dive into this sizzling saga.

The incident unfolded during prime dining hours last Tuesday. Witnesses described Goldberg’s arrival with the confidence of someone who’s seen it all, expecting treatment befitting her status as an EGOT winner. However, Chef Ramsay seemed oblivious to Goldberg’s accolades – after all, he’s Gordon Ramsay.

Goldberg’s culinary faux pas was reportedly her audacious request to have Ramsay’s signature dish, Beef Wellington, prepared ‘well done’. This innocent request apparently sent Ramsay into a kitchen frenzy, akin to if Goldberg had requested lobster instead of spam in a Lobster Thermidor.

Ramsay’s response was nothing short of volcanic. Patrons froze mid-meal as the Scottish chef delivered a tirade that was more flambe than a Crêpe Suzette. His iconic phrase, “It’s raw!” took an ironic twist as he exclaimed, “It’s not a bloody shoe sole, it’s Beef Wellington!”

Goldberg, however, stood her ground with quick wit, retorting, “Well, Ramsay, if I wanted to be yelled at while eating, I’d have joined a military mess hall!” The restaurant erupted into a cacophony of reactions, but Ramsay wasn’t done yet.

In an unprecedented move, Ramsay presented Goldberg with a ‘Lifetime Ban’ decree, signed ceremoniously on a parchment-style kitchen towel. He declared, “You’re banned for life, Goldberg. You and your overcooked tastes are no longer welcome!” This document, hastily prepared but surely a collector’s item, is likely to fetch a pretty penny on eBay someday.

Goldberg took the ban in stride, telling reporters, “Well, at least now I won’t have to worry about his yelling interrupting my meal. Silver linings, right?” Kudos to Goldberg for her trademark humor and resilience.

Ramsay’s PR team is currently in damage control mode, describing his actions as “passionate, but regrettable.” The fallout remains to be seen – will this incident tarnish Ramsay’s reputation permanently or fade as a fleeting controversy?

Meanwhile, the culinary world is divided. Julia Child, were she alive, might defend Goldberg’s right to choose her preferred meat doneness. Conversely, Chef Marco Pierre White might be seen giving Ramsay a virtual fist bump.

The lingering question is whether Goldberg’s dinner plans will be affected. Unlikely – many other chefs would gladly accommodate her well-done Beef Wellington request. Jamie Oliver, for one, has extended an invitation, promising steaks cooked just as she likes.

As for Ramsay’s restaurant staff, reactions ranged from shock to amusement. A waiter confessed, “I thought it was a joke, like a ‘punked’ celebrity thing.” The sous-chef holding the infamous kitchen towel ban decree might beg to differ.

In conclusion, while Ramsay’s ban might seem overly seasoned, it has provided the perfect ingredients for a headline-worthy story. Here’s to more epic culinary clashes, hoping the only thing overcooked in the future is Ramsay’s fiery temper. Until then, keep your forks ready and your steaks medium-rare – because in the world of fine dining, the stakes are always high.